Nowadays we are witnesses of the creation, the total manifestation and worshiping of perfection and the building of a society full of attention seekers, narcissists, self lovers and white-livered sociopaths. Very extreme statement, but unfortunately absolutely true. This creates this constant fear of missing out. Missing out of being the prettiest, the better, attending the best events, meeting the right people. Perfection in its finest on each and every level in our lives. Do we actually realize that achieving perfection is impossible because as human beings we are imperfect and this will never change.
The problem of the ‘’perfect self’’ is one of the biggest
issues of the modern society. There is a huge pressure and ''requirements'' for perfection we gotta ''follow'' in social
media. The world has became a big Instagram feed. Comparing your life with the ones that you see on the Internet is the biggest mistake one can possibly make. This perfectionism is
actually affecting the mental health of many millennials. When you start
comparing your life with the lives of the people you follow on social media,
it’s almost inevitable to fall into the rabbit hole of low self-esteem and even
depression. It seems like an endless competition. Everybody likes to post positive things about their life. How they
moved to a bigger city and the nice lifestyle they have. But you will (most of the time) never see a story or a snapchat about their struggles and how hard it
was to adapt, to move there, leave friends and family. Or you will see the
beautiful house somebody got and you would think that they have it all. But you
won't see the sacrifices and privations that person did to get to where they
are at today. You would see a wedding picture on your feed and you would want to get
there but that is not so easy. Especially considering the fact that most people
want to use a shortcut and get ''a perfect partner'' but don’t realize how much work you need
to maintain a healthy relationship. You would rarely see post of the tears and
the sleepless nights couples go trough to have what they have today. The
list can go on.
The point is that most of the time the social media users are not brave enough, they don’t want to expose something too personal or they simply want people to think that they have the perfect existence, so there are very few out there who would post something about their weak moments and hard times. In short, most of us are sharing only the pink side of our lives. That creates a ‘’perfect’’ community which covers up the real problems and the real life situations with a pinkish curtain. As a result there are many people out there who get depressed by looking at all these perfect images and wonder why their life is not the same, so they actually feel like they have failed. According to a study by Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill the majority of the people are experiencing ''multidimensional perfectionism'', or the pressure to meet extremely high standards. The study linked this with the growing number of mental illness among young people in their 20s. So, they conclude that the perfectionism is a weakness and it makes us ill (www.theguradian.com). One of the biggest things which triggers perfectionism is the Internet.
Another big problem is the addiction that social media creates. And recently this is going out of proportions. About 51 % of people visit or log in more frequently to social networks than they did two years ago (mashable.com). No matter how much you are trying to convince yourself that you are not addicted, you still check your profile every five minutes, especially if you posted a picture. You want to know if you got the approval of the world in order to uplift your self-esteem and feel good about yourself. You life turns into some kind of a circle of posting and approval, so you forget to live in the moment. We have created a world full of attention seekers. No matter where you go, you HAVE to let the world know what you eat, what you drink, who you met and how the experience made you feel. If you don’t do that it feels like you almost missed the whole thing.
The point is that most of the time the social media users are not brave enough, they don’t want to expose something too personal or they simply want people to think that they have the perfect existence, so there are very few out there who would post something about their weak moments and hard times. In short, most of us are sharing only the pink side of our lives. That creates a ‘’perfect’’ community which covers up the real problems and the real life situations with a pinkish curtain. As a result there are many people out there who get depressed by looking at all these perfect images and wonder why their life is not the same, so they actually feel like they have failed. According to a study by Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill the majority of the people are experiencing ''multidimensional perfectionism'', or the pressure to meet extremely high standards. The study linked this with the growing number of mental illness among young people in their 20s. So, they conclude that the perfectionism is a weakness and it makes us ill (www.theguradian.com). One of the biggest things which triggers perfectionism is the Internet.
Another big problem is the addiction that social media creates. And recently this is going out of proportions. About 51 % of people visit or log in more frequently to social networks than they did two years ago (mashable.com). No matter how much you are trying to convince yourself that you are not addicted, you still check your profile every five minutes, especially if you posted a picture. You want to know if you got the approval of the world in order to uplift your self-esteem and feel good about yourself. You life turns into some kind of a circle of posting and approval, so you forget to live in the moment. We have created a world full of attention seekers. No matter where you go, you HAVE to let the world know what you eat, what you drink, who you met and how the experience made you feel. If you don’t do that it feels like you almost missed the whole thing.
Missing things out is something we fear and that fear is again created
mostly because of the digital world we live in. The so-called FOMO or fear of
missing out is a main issue and something I've been thinking a lot about it recently. The fear of missing out has always been out there in different forms because as human beings we always strive for more and we always think the grass is greener on the other side. It is actually an ancient fear being triggered by the social media. It seems like recently this fear has impact of epidemic type. Back in the days when
social media didn’t exist, people lived in their little universe and were happy
with what they had. Now that we have access to all this information everyday 24/7, we are
actually able to see what the others are doing on the other side of the
world. It seems like the more information we have, the less happy we are. The
FOMO is similar to a massive disease that hits mostly the young people. Example for
that is what happens during festival season, during music events like Coachella
and Burning man. Whenever this time of the year comes, you feeds are flooded
with colorful pictures from Black Rock city or California. When that happens, most
of the users stand in grieve in front of their phones and wish they were there
as well. A new survey conducted by Mylife.com revealed 56 % of people are
afraid of missing out on events, important status updates, etc. if they are
away from the social media (www.washable.com).
People who are suffering from this fear are constantly checking their news feed in order to ''see'' if there is something that they could do. This is a constant action of ''checking for better options'' while you can actually enjoy the present moment. This is a hyper state of mind which is the complete opposite of being in piece with yourself and the surrounding environment. The people who are at the biggest risk of suffering from FOMO are the perfectionists, the people who have been through trauma in their lives, people who are antisocial and ones who suffer from anxiety. But in this world full of so much information and temptations, nobody is safe from getting the FOMO disease.
Getting big breaks from social media and focusing on the present and the people, situations, and happenings around you at the current moment is the best cure from this modern illness. There are so many ways to actually entertain yourself (except social media) and go out there, meet people in person, remember those social skills face to face and create this healthy balance between your real life and the one in front of the screen. Your existence is unique and you are the only one living it, by doing the things you do and having the feelings you have. So don't miss it out. The only thing you should be afraid of missing out on is your own life!
Live without fear,
Xoxo
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